I wonder what word came first, vagina or Virginia. One of them should be changed. My vote would be to change vagina to iVag. This name reflects beauty, engineering, clean lines, smooth surfaces, delicate curves and a closed platform free of bugs and viruses. There are no unsightly flaps, hinges or ports but of course it has one button that does it all, one button to fire it up instantly where it awaits your multitouch gestures to really come to life. Swipe, pinch, tap and swirl your iVag to the brink of ecstasy. The iVag...Think Different.

The day I went to jail...again

Today started like any other Saturday. Up before 8am. Reading an ebook on my iPad. Snuggling with my wife and dog. Coffee at McDonalds.

yada, yada, yada...then I went to jail.

Ah dear reader, I bet you want to know what I yada yada'd out right? So here goes.

Lia had a volleyball game this morning but I was slow to get up and moving so Kris left before me. I took a shower and left the house around 9. 10 minutes after that I was leaving McDonalds with my breakfast.

As I'm driving through Jerseyville I notice traffic is super heavy. First I see the October Fest at the catholic school and a line of traffic as far as the eye can see. Directly in front of me is another Jeep. I slowly drive around him since he has his left turn signal on and will be there a long time. Within seconds lights come on behind me and I'm being pulled over.

So I'm close to the highschool at this point so I pull over to the side of the road. He gets my license and insurance, runs them and comes back to my window. At this point I see another cruiser pull up but don't think anything of it. Its a small town, flashing lights attract the rednecks like moths to a flame.

He says "Are you aware there is a warrant out for your arrest?" I laugh and say "No, you must have me mistaken for someone else."

"Step out of the vehicle please" So I start to walk towards his car and he pushes me up against the Jeep and gets his cuffs out. I ask "Are you serious? This is some kind of misunderstanding" I get cuffed and tossed in the back seat. He then sees my FOID card and gets all concerned, asking me where my gun is. "At home under my bed" I reply. He takes his hand off his holster at this point. Jesus, WTF have I gotten myself into?

He goes through my stuff and finds a an advil bottle with my medicine in it. It's a mixture of tylenol, advil, aleve and Xanax (which I have a prescription for). He asks about the pills, I tell him the truth and then I realize I'm fucked. He thinks I'm a drug dealer. In front of a school.

So we drive the 5 blocks to the jail, I get out the car and put in a holding cell. I have to pee. Badly.

Some other fucko is there for marijuana possession...at 9am on a Saturday morning. The kid is wearing a Pizza Hut uniform. Shocker, he works at a pizza place and smokes weed.

I have nothing to do, no phone or iPad so I feel very disconnected. I begin to nap. After an hour they come in and give me what I think is good news. "We identified all of your pills and believe you." I see a stack of tickets and think I'm getting those and will get to leave.

"Bad news is its Saturday and until you prove your prescriptions you have to stay in jail." My mouth flops open like a dead fish. "You mean all weekend?" This isn't happening...but it is. "Yes he says, until Monday am."

At this point I remember that my wife knows the states attorney. I ask them if I can get him on the phone can he get me released. They tell me he can so I ask to call my wife. I call her, this is how that call goes.

Me: Hello
Her: Where are you, I'm worried.
Me: Guess
Her: You're in jail aren't you?
Me: How'd you know?

At this point I remember I texted her that I got pulled over. Apparently she had been trying to call and was getting increasingly concerned.

I explain the situation and she hangs up. I get to get my iPhone back and go back to the holding cell. Words with Friends is alot more fun in jail. Really kills the time.

About 30 minutes later they tell me that the states attorney called and set bail so I can go home. On Monday I have to go take my prescriptions in and then I'll be exonerated. Except for a stupid ticket for passing on the right.

To top it all off the warrant that got me in this mess was a mistake. It will be cleared up on Monday as well.

As a matter of record though I had to get my fingerprints and mugshot taken. Just in case I turn out to be a Xanax dealer. So yeah, that was lots of fun. I did have fun shooting the shit with the jail guy and listening to his stories about all the crazy inmates. And I finally got to pee...in an empty cells toilet.

I told the deputy that if he gave me my iPad and iPhone I could easily do the time, but not without my gadgets.


So...that was my morning. Can you top it?

Killer videos

For Yarbi


Sweet Rube Goldbergs

Best one ever


Second best?

Ebooks

As many of you know I'm a bit of a reader. Ok, that's deliberately understated, I read about 2 books a week, sometimes 3. I would say I'm a bit of a collector, although I don't collect the antiquarian books, the uber rare or the ancient tomes of yesteryear. No, I collect first editions/first printings of modern fiction. This isn't hard with 1st/1st printing runs usually over 100,000 of what I read.

But I've given it up, because theres something I like collecting more. Money. You see, despite being a passionate reader of about 15 regular authors I still feel that books are grossly overpriced and feel that authors could make up for lower prices with higher quantities sold.

Enter the digital age.

I've been a reader of ebooks for a long time, the first device I remember reading a book on is a Palm V. Then I got the awesome Dell Axim with the wifi's. It was on this device that my addiction to ebooks began. I would take this baby into the bathroom with me and 2 hours later I had finished the newest Stephen King or Harry Potter book. My asshole hates my reading addiction, this I know for fact.

So, needless to say I've acquired a great many ebooks. Probably a few hundred and growing every week. What I love is that I have 15 books on my iPad and iPhone right now that I can't wait to read. Instant gratification. No more buying one book at a time, finishing it at 2am and then waiting a day or 7 to get the next book with a trip to Barnes and Noble. The other day I read Mile 81 by Stephen King, finishing around Noon. I then started Second Son by Lee Child and finished that around 2pm. I then immediately started the new Dexter book. My total cost for the day? $0.0.

The old way would've easily cost $41. Do I feel guilty about not giving those authors my $? Nope, because I know that they don't get almost anything out of the $17 or so dollars per book. And when I see another author I like, James Patterson, selling ebooks for MORE than the hardback...well, that makes me incensed. I mean Jesus. The guy has a shit ton of money, sells millions of books and decides to RAISE his prices? Karma is a bitch.

I also recently won a Kindle in a random drawing. Not sure what I'm going to do with it as I have no use for another ereader. Probably just return it to BB for credit and get Gears of War 3. Yay.

Auctions attract weirdos

This guy stood out on Sunday.

Floppy hat
Michael Dukakis eyebrows
Pale, pasty skin
ancient looking sweater
ancient looking black slacks
gardening gloves
shoes with velcro straps

Ahhh, that's Madison County for ya.

6 hour "socialization" test? Really?

The purpose of this post is to illustrate 2 things.
1. I'm a sarcastic asshole at times.
2. Why I hate policies.




Before we went on vacation recently to Arizona I made some calls to find a new place to board my dog. I typically take him to a place here in town but they aren't open on Sundays and they keep him in a fairly small cell with no activities. I am what you may call an overzealous dog owner and I want my boy to feel like he's on vacation to. After calling a few places that had no vacancies I finally reached a place in Collinsville that had an opening. They asked some basic questions about his name (Cubby), breed (Golden Retriever), age (7), etc. So we basically have a fully domesticated, adult male Golden Retriever.




This is a picture of my dog. Very vicious looking right?






They first asked me what day I wanted to bring him in and when I said "Tomorrow" they said "Oooh, that's going to be a problem." I asked what the problem was and was informed there was a mandatory (and paid) 6 hour socialization test to make sure my dog wasn't violent or aggressive. They do know what a Golden Retriever is right? I don't think a more gentle, docile and loving animal exists. I've been around Goldens my entire life and have never met one that wasn't sweet and playful.

So this conversation happened:



Me: You are aware this is for a Golden Retriever right?

Dumbass: Yes, but this policy is for any dog.

Me: Who came up with this policy?

Dumbass: Our owner, who is a veterinarian.

Me: Is she familiar with a Golden Retriever?

Dumbass: Of course, many Goldens stay here.

Me: And have you had any issues with them? You know, like them biting each other, eating small childrens faces off, killing the young, playing puppy fight club? You know, stuff like that?

Dumbass: I understand what you're saying sir, but it's a policy.

Me: Do most of your customers have 6 hours to come and watch their dog play with other dogs? Oh, and pay you for the privilege?

Dumbass: It is an issue for alot of people.

Me: I think we just found out why you have openings when no one else does. Thanks.

Click.


Again, this is my dog. We ended up having family take care of him and all was well.

End of story.



This is NOT a sales pitch for a Golden, but I will say that if anyone asks me what dog to get I only have one answer. There is a reason. I have had 4 Goldens in my life and each one is sweeter than the next. I can't imagine a better family dog. And the brain..sheesh, I'm pretty sure my dog understands me. There is a reason that Goldens are chosen for drug sniffing, cadaver location, service assistance, emotional therapy and a wide range of other demanding roles. Oh, and they're highly sought after in the hunting world, the name "retriever" isn't an accident.

And take a look around you when you're in the store, especially the pet aisle. Goldens are used to hawk everything from dog food to baked beans to insurance to cars. They're all over print media, movies, TV and advertising. This is not an accident.

Soda is immature?

The other day I was in a drive thru (I know, what a shock) and I decided to order a Cherry Coke. I love this soda but I usually only drink diet sodas for less calories and I usually prefer the taste. The few exceptions to this are Cherry Coke, Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb. When I lived with my friend Pete a long time ago we both got hooked on Cherry Coke from McDonalds. It was an amazing combination of paper cups, crushed ice and Cherry Coke. Nirvana.

So, the other day when the urge struck I shot off a text to Pete who I JUST got back in touch with after not speaking with him for years. I explained that I had just ordered a Cherry Coke and he replied "...I'm a grown up so I really only drink water and Iced Tea now..." That made me laugh. This guy isn't much of a grown up, about as much as I am, and now it's immature to drink soda?

So fellow webbians, is it more mature to drink Iced Tea and Water? Perhaps I should order a Brandy Alexander or a Sloe Gin Fizz when I'm out drinking, aren't thos more refined drinks? Now, I agree that an adult sucking on a Sunny D or a Capri Sun looks foolish...but who cares?

Thoughts?

Things I've learned about beer...

I've learned the following about beer through many beer hunts, brewery tours, sampler sets, blog entries (V) and sipping of the frosty brew.

1. I now know what things like lacing, mouth-feel and tannins are.

2. I realize that I enjoy the story behind the beer more than the beer itself sometimes.

3. There's a massive beer community that gets very little respect from liquor store owners and Wine snobs.

4. I don't like High ABV beers. They're just not for me.

5. I like banana-ey beers. Not the banana bread one, but I like the banana after tones of many hefe's. I could almost go so far to say I like beers with a fruity taste, like

6. I like light colored beers despite proclaiming myself a "Stout" man.

7. While Guinness is still my number two favorite beer, it's not the same as a true Microbrew stout. In fact it's not even in the same league.

8. Liquor store owners can either be the most helpful and accomodating person or the biggest asshole or jerk.

9. I LOVE the thrill of the hunt of either rare or hard to find beer. I love things like serial numbers, limited production, special days, seasonal brews and anything that's illegal in the US and/or near impossible to get.

10. My favorite beers are, in no order....Koenig Ludwig Weissbier, Guinnes Stout, Westvleraten 10 and then 8, Founders Breakfast Stout, to name a few.

11. It's ok if I don't like the beers others do, especially the heavy bourbon and whiskey beers. They can like it, I don't have to, and it doesn't mean I don't appreciate a good beer, just not THOSE beers.

12. When you wear a PIG shirt in a small town at a local bar you get stared at.

13. Mohawks attract attention, not always the right kind.

14. Cooking your own steak on a stone at the table is awesome.

....

Resume tips from an IT Manager

I've been reviewing hundreds of resumes lately and I have a few tips. I know these are all published elsewhere, but here's my suggestions and pet peeves.

1. Use a consistent font, and preferably one that is nice and clear. Good choices are Calibri (my fave), Times New Roman, Arial, etc. Avoid flashy or weirdly justified fonts.

2. Be consistent in your format. If you underline one heading underline the next one, don't change bullet types mid resume, make font size consistent throughout, etc.

3. Use the goddamn spellchecker. Multiple or blatant misspellings will get you DQ'ed instantly with me.

4. Put accurate contact information and indicate which you'd like me to use. Your email address should be professional and not ostenatious. Avoid things like partydude@gmail.com, hot_biker_dude@yahoo.com and l33thax0r@hotmail.com. These are lame and have no business on a resume. Also, if the number 420 is anywhere in your email you won't get a call from me, I'm not an idiot.

5. Understand that I WILL look you up on MySpace, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc. These represent you and your professionalism. I won't discriminate based on race, religion or that other stuff, but if your MySpace background has pot leaves on it or swastika's (to name a few) don't wait near your phone.

6. I don't care about perfect attendance in high school, if you were in the Thespians Club or if you were Employee of the Month at Dairy Queen. What I want to see if relevant work experience, education and affiliations. It's great that you set the state discuss record, but I really don't give a shit. Only put down RELEVANT job histories. If this is your first resume that's fine, I'd rather have you put that down rather than try and relate Waffle House Cook to what we do.

7. References are lame and I never call them. No one ever puts down someone voluntarily who will not vouch for them.

8. If your GPA is under 3, don't put it on their, I'm less likely to call. Why advertise you're dumb?

9. Avoid obvious BS and lengthy objectives. Your objective is to get a job, I get it.

And in conclusion....

10. Be reasonable. If you're a recent college grad you're not going to get into managment. Accept entry level work. And don't ask for $45k a year and stock options. I don't care if you graduated Summa Cum Laude, in IT you need to prove yourself and all that paper shows me is that you're able to memorize stuff and see something through to completion. These are great skills, however they don't mean you're worth more to me than someone who has 5 years of OJT and can handle himself/herself during a real live IT crisis.

Funny shirt

Just thought I'd post this. I love it, not sure why.

Horrible day

Today was a horrible day at work. I had 2 on vacation, 1 stuck at a client, 2 home in bed from late night work, a new guy starting and 2 leaving early for drs appts. Left us extremely short handed and made for a tense day.

Got some good stuff done, but found out a good sized customer was bought and upper management got canned. Things like that make me worry, but not too much, nothing I can do.

Golfed in a Best Ball tournament on Saturday. On Friday night I bought my new driver, it's a Nike Sasquatch Sumo2 square. It's ridikkulusly large and makes a hell of a noise when hitting it. I hit it well on the swing trainer and pretty consistent on the course. I had a few errant drives, but I definitely got some additional distance.

One thing that was funny was we had this douchebag in our foursome and he was spouting lines from Larry the Cable Guy, Caddyshack, Happy Gilmore and more all day long. He really needs to work on his comedic timing because 20 times a hole every hole is not funny. Also, a funny thing happened. The 8some behind us hit into us about 2 holes in. And I mean REALLY hit into us, like dangerously close and they knew we were there. We politely asked them not to do that. On the very next hole we're on the green and here come a ball, not 5 feet from 2 of our golfers. Then another, then a third falls short of the green, then another in the trees near us...etc.

So, we of course all got pissed off, me perhaps more than others as I hate assholes and also because I was one of the ones close to getting hit. So, we put out and I look up the fairway and don't see them yet....oops, my putter shoots out of my hands and jacks the ball into the lake. Hmmm, I guess they didn't drive the green on that par 4 after all. :) I had a little remorse, but not much.

Tomorrow we have a management offsite at a hotel. Our second one in a month, should be a barrel of laughs. I'm very frustrated right now, but not suffering from anxiety, so I guess that's good. I am looking very much forward to our vacation to the Wisconsin Dells next week though. We'll leave here on Saturday and come back the following Sunday. Should be a blast.

Ok, all for now. L8r.

Ping Golf Balls

I'm getting ready to golf again on Saturday and decided to try and find a sleeve of my favorite balls from when I was a kid. I remember golfing all day during the week at Spring Creek in Spring Valley, IL and using some of my hard earned money to buy the cool 2 color Ping golf balls. At one time I'm sure that every ball in my bag was a 2 color Ping, man was I COOL! Anyway, it turns out Ping got out of the golf ball industry in 1997 and now the balls go for big money on Ebay. I'll still try and get lucky and find some cheap, but I doubt I'll have much luck. If you're either like me and loved these balls or have no idea what I'm talking about check out this great FAQ here.

http://reviews.ebay.com/Tips-for-Collecting-Two-Colored-Ping-Eye-Golf-Balls_W0QQugidZ10000000000763235

Also, check out this site : http://www.pingballs.com/ Click on Colors and Values on the left. Those prices are PER BALL people! I know for a fact that I had a Jordan ball and the 8 ball. Who would've thunk in 1990 that I would have a few golf balls, that if kept would be worth more than all my clubs combined and probably have paid for my golf membership for those 3 years I played all that golf.

Another golf memory that just came to me was the Wilson Firestick. It was one of the first jumbo headed drivers and was still actually made from wood. I remember buying it from Jimmy Thompson, the Junior Pro at Edgewood for the whopping price of $100. Man, I was a stud back then. Had the headcover to match.

Ok, enough of a trip down amnesia lane.

Panic and Anxiety

Well, my panic and anxiety has hit an all new high, or is it low? Either way, you get the drift.

I've had GAD (general anxiety disorder) for about 7 years, and I've had runs of good times and runs of very bad times. Right now, I'm at an all new low. I'm having panic attacks pretty much every night, and am feeling some anxiety during some days. I know what my triggers are but they're unavoidable, so I'm trying to deal.

I took today off work and went to the doctor and told him my Lexapro wasn't doing shit and is now weaning me off of that and putting me on Effexor XR and Xanax XR. I've previously had a prescription for Xanax, but that is only to "get me off the ledge" during a bad attack. On the scale of seriousness my recent attacks have been about a 4/10 with some at a 8/10. It's been a nightly thing for almost 2 months and for the first time ever its affecting my job and personal life.

I had to cancel a business trip to Atlanta that I was looking forward to because my anxiety is much worse away from home. Also, we have a vacation planned for two weeks from now and I need to get it under control so I can travel for that. I know, how stupid is it that I'm stressing over vacation, but that's the case. Is anyone else battling anxiety right now? I know in the past there's been a few.

Surprise!

Well, the surprise party for Kris on Saturday was a great success and I think everyone had a great time. I am working on uploading some pictures of the event to the blog and you have any good ones please send them to me, I'd love to have copies. Thanks to everyone from coming, especially those who drove long distances, I know it was appreciated by Kris and I.

New Riddle

I love this one. It took me a bit, but I eventually figured it out. Remember, no cheating.

Imagine you are in a room with 3 switches. In an adjacent room there are 3 bulbs (all are off at the moment), each switch belongs to one bulb. It is impossible to see from one room to another. How can you find out which switch belongs to which bulb, if you may enter the room with the bulbs only once?


BTW, no one has gotten the last riddle yet, but I will post the solution soon.


Kris is still home with the flu, I'm getting better on the zPack and I want to go see the new Will Ferrell movie this weekend.

Benito Stalin Thitler

Sarah, the answer to your question regarding the TP is that I have no idea. It just thought it was funny. It's original description was "Man's Ultimate Throne".


Good Riddle :
Look at this sequence of letters and then tell us what the last letter should be.O T T F F S S ?
Post your answer to the comment section.

Kris is home with the flu, the bad kind that I had. I found out on Tuesday that I have either sever Bronchitis or pneumonia. They gave me some medicine and told me that if I'm not better in 5 days it's pneumonia and to come back. Gotta love that tactic.

Random Funny Thing :
Ever notice how in almost every public bathroom you go in at a business there is a sign reminding employees to wash their hands before returning to work in English and Spanish? So anyway, the other day I'm at lunch with the two bosses at this authentic Mexican restaurant, and I mean authentic to the point where most employees don't speak English or have green cards. So I go to make a tinkle and I see the sign. Not surprised, until I realize that there's no Spanish on this one! Great, now I'm eating and drinking and sitting on piss stained items because someone forgot to translate for Jorge and Jose in the kitchen. Great.

Elections and job update

Awhile back someone asked me to comment on choosing a candidate in a future blog entry, so here goes.

The question was like this "J, if you don't advocate choosing a candidate based on your faith how do you suggest people choose a candidate?"

Answer:
To me this is easy. Common Sense and your values.
Let me explain.

I define Faith as the belief in your God of choice, not as following every letter of the Bible/Quran/Mein Kampf etc as if it's the law. For instance, I see no reason why you can't believe in God and still advocate Gay marriage, Abortion and Stem Cell research. Many people make these relgious issues because of their intepretation of a book. I choose my candidates based on their stance on the issues, not on their religious beliefs or affiliations. I'm not against Ron Paul because of his religion, I'm against him because of his platform.

What really irks me are the cafeteria or grocery cart Chrisitian, meaning those that pick and choose what pieces of their denominations beliefs they follow. While I find it humorous and sad I can actually respect the crazy Opus Dei types a bit more as they follow it to the letter. I personally dont' think that something that applied thousands of years ago really applies now, but many do.

So, my short answer is this. Look at each issue, decide how you feel about it and choose a candidate that most resembles your beliefs. If you can sit there an say that stem cell research, which could save countless lives and improve many many more is bad because the Bible says so then I don't have much more to say because we're so far on opposite sides that any discussion would be fruitless.


Kris had a successful second interview with a local bank yesterday and is expecting an offer today. This is good news, nay Spectacular news. Having her closer to home and closer to me would just make so many things easier.

Cross your fingers!

Coming soon to a town near you...

This will be a good test to see if Adam or Carrie reads this blog regularly. Kris, Lia and I will be in PC this weekend. We'd love to hook up, have a dinner, drink some of that beer, etc. Call me to figure out details.

***Consumer Report***
Diet Dr. Pepper Chocolate Cherry or whatever the f it's called is horrible. It tastes all "chemically" and rancid. I do not recommend it but regular Diet Dr. Pepper is amazing.

Scratched Cornea
Well, I scratched my cornea somehow late Friday night or Saturday morning. I had some discomfort in it Saturday morning and it got progressively worse on our trip to St. Louis to see a movie. It started watering constantly and light started to bother it. We went to see National Treasure 2 (excellent movie BTW) and I had to pop it out in the theater and hold it. I figured I just had something in my eye and flushed my eye out and cleaned my contact in the bathroom at the movies. I tried to put the contact back in and the pain was horrible and my eye filled with water. I was just going to deal with it but realized that we were near my eye doctor on Olive. We stopped in and got lucky, they were still open. They referred us to another location about 15min away, they saw me and discovered I had a 2mm x 3mm scratch right in the center of my eye. I had to wear a special contact (no prescription) for 2 days then had a follow up on Monday and Tuesday. I put my contact back in full time yesterday and was glad the headaches started to recede. Also, I'm a bad enough driver with 2 contacts let alone with only 1 and very poor depth perception. I think I almost got into a few accidents.

Oh yeah, I got a HD DVD player last Friday for the Xbox. I'm now dual formatted so there are no movies I can't get, which is excellent. I've already bought Bourne Ultimatum and Big Lebowski and I have 40 yr old virgin, Knocked Up and I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry on order. Also added BeerFest to the Blu Ray collection as it was on sale for only $14.

I'm jonesing to get the home theater installed in the basement but we have to get that stupid floor done first and the water problem taken care of outside before that. It will be a busy spring for sure, but I will appreciate the $1200 that President Bush is giving us! w00t!

TTYL

Biscuits

I just had to get on here and say that Hardee's biscuits are AMAZING. I know they're not healthy but jesus they're good. I had two this morning that were so air, fluffy and buttery they practically melted in my mouth. Plus, Hardee's has the best sausage of any fast food place around.

On another note, Kris and I went shopping last night and bought some more healthy food. Obviously, as noted above, I'm not eating 100% healthy, but I'm trying to make some small changes so they're more sustainable.

We watched Lost last night and I'm more damn confused than ever. I'm not sure what's going on, who's good, who's bad, etc. All I know for sure is that Ben Linus is one bad mofo and everyone that knows him either hates him or fears him. I'm hoping for some big things from this season but I know I'm going to be pissed when the new episodes run out and they start airing reruns due to this stupid writers strike. Quit whining you bunch of babies and the studios need to do their part as well and "Show them the money". Clearly all of entertainment is suffering.

We also watched the new Survivor. I'm slightly intrigued, but still find myself not caring. I'm primarily going to watch this season for Parvati (Smokin!).

And Eli Stone is growing on me. It's a show that's on after Lost and we've seen the first two episodes. I think it has a chance of sticking around and it's pretty good. Not that I need to get hooked on another show. Speaking of that, I've started tivo'ing King of Queens. I really like it, it cracks me up.

Not much else to report. The Jeep has a front end wobble now, I'm hoping it's just some impacted dirt that I'll be able to blow out with a good powerwashing this weekend, but we'll see.

Coupla complaints

1. The voting process in Jerseyville was lame. I don't like having to declare my party and thus vote down party lines. My biggest bitch though is about the process itself. I mean come on, having to darken circles with a pen and then feed it into a machine? How 1988 is that? In Columbus it's all electronic and you're in and out and neatness doesn't count. Guess that's what I get for living in a poorer county.

2. Last night in a strip mall I watched a jackass park his big stupid yellow hummer in a handicapped spot. Now he did have the placard and the license plate but what handicapped person drives the large model H2? Not too mention that he looked pretty mobile when he hopped out and started having a conversation with another guy in the parking lot. What an ass for owning a big stupid hummer like that and then to have the nerve to park in handicapped spots. I hate the amount of handicapped spots as much as the next guy (I mean really, are 25 disabled persons all going to go to Walmart at the same time?) but people like this piss me off.

3. If this describes you I'm sorry. I can't tell you how many times I'll be pulling into a gas station to get a soda or something and some jerky will be walking from his car at the pump to the building with no heed for other vehicles. I mean, you morons realize that they're not some protective tunnel between your pump and the building right? One of these days one of these morons will end up as my hood ornament and I won't have much sympathy for them. Watch where the hell you're going and keep your head up.

4. If you're going into a building, say your workplace, and there is a locked door that is normally unlocked and you open the door, LEAVE THE DAMN DOOR UNLOCKED. Now, many of you are probably thinking that this is a security issue and in many cases it would be, but not in my scenario. We have a secured back parking lot and a locked back door. Typically the first one in unlocks the back door with their key. Now you have to put your key in, turn it just to get the door open then turn this little thing on the knob so it stays unlocked. Most people here do that with no problems but there are some, nay a few, that will open the door with their key and not unlock it. I know this because they're parked in the back so when I go up to the door with my hands full and see other cars in the lot I expect it to be unlocked. Not always so. How hard is this?

5. This one is easy. If you're going to send someone a business email please make sure that the signature includes your contact information. I got an email today from a guy who asked for a callback but his signature was this...

-Thanks
Rob

What good does that do and does that really put your best foot forward when representing your business? And this wasn't some lackey, this was someone who should know better. If you want someone to fax you something make sure they have your fax number, same with phone number, etc. Don't make people go looking for stuff that you should be providing. What I do, and I think it works well, is I use my full email signature on New messages and a shortened version with no images and not as much information on Replies and Forwards.

Bottom line...use common sense.

Ok, that's enough for now.